Life IS Too Damn Short

A Brief Preface: A Caesar Salad to Start the Course

I took an extended hiatus from blogging while I was in the States for the holidays. I spent Christmas in California with my parents and celebrated New Year's with my girlfriend and her family in Colorado. It was an incredible fulfilling vacation as it renewed my spirits for 2017.

Looking back I realize the vacation was too good as it reminded me what I have missed since arriving here last July. Far from experiencing reverse culture shock I slipped back into the current surprisingly easy. Even the jet lag was gone in less than 48 hours, but I have never been much of a sleeper anyways (I don't have roll-over sleep minutes; if I miss a couple hours of sleep here and there, they are gone forever). It was meaningful to be with just some (sadly not all) of the people I love dearly once again. The food, wine, and beer were of course fantastic.

The Meat and Potatoes

Before I left Goto I received a contract extension from the Board of Education which would renew my contract for a second year. I thought about signing "yes" before I left for the States but decided to wait until after I returned; there was no rush! Within hours of returning to Goto, I suddenly questioned whether or not I wanted to renew at all. One moment I was eagerly studying Japanese, teaching English enthusiastically, and enjoying the easy island life Goto provides. The next I was rethinking my plan for the next year. How I could experience this 180 degree mental and emotional shift so suddenly perplexed me so I took a few days to analyze it. There are a myriad of reasons but it boils down to a simple cliche: life is too damn short.

Ha. I considered obfuscating offering reflections about my vocation and future career. That is of course a part of my reasoning. But my biggest concern about re-contracting was being away from those who I love for another year.

"But it's just a year! They will be there when you finish. Enjoy Japan! Travel. LIVE."

It occurred to me that I don't want to take that time for granted. Traveling, while fun, is far more enjoyable with family and friends. Deep down I knew that if I agreed to re-contract, I would simply wonder when I could see my girlfriend, the love of my life, my family, and my friends again. Presently my heart is stretched across two continents and that is not a sustainable, healthy way to live. I do have friends here among the other ALTs and my co-workers and I am beyond grateful for those friendships. Unfortunately a matter of months cannot replace relationships which have lasted years.

It requires a lot of energy to live abroad more than I realized. I have spent more time lately watching shows on Netflix for the simple joy of hearing English! I have never been a great student of Japanese because the motivation isn't always there. I understand that my purpose and vocation lie back in the States. I am thinking Seattle where I have connections and opportunities. If it wasn't obvious already, for the record I will say that I do not intend to renew my teaching contract.

I am enjoying my year here so please don't misunderstand me. JET is an incredible opportunity and if my circumstances were different, no doubt I would re-up without hesitation. The students are fun and eager learners, my co-workers are kind, the food is delicious, and while getting off the island is a chore, I can be in Nagasaki in two hours, Fukuoka a little more, and from there I have access to the rest of Japan or Asia (even less time if I fly from Goto). I realize now though that Japan was not the goal but a medium for exploring education as a career; Japan is a medium for introspection. Could I grow here for another year? Sure--I could learn more Japanese and I could become a better teacher but I don't think that is my vocational path (at least not as a conventional teacher).

Reflections and Prognostications--The "Port" or "Coffee" Dessert If You Will

Life is too short to wonder and to entertain doubts. I am willing to risk some uncertainty if it means chasing the force that tugs relentlessly at my soul. One moment I was managing the gym, the next I was swimming off the coast of a Japanese island in high tide: now I am half a year away from returning to the States again. What the hell is going on?

I theorize a lot and I am attracted to ideas that encourage self-ownership and self-government, volunteer associations, and sustainable, healthy living physically, mentally, and spiritually. I look at the absolute train wreck that is our government, economy, and society and think we can do better. And I don't mean "working within the system". Honestly I think the system is falling apart and we are just now beginning to see the rubber band stretch too far. That is a very general statement and probably isn't popular with people who still believe in the political duopoly. Oh well. For better or for worse I am dedicated and invested these ideals. I must summon the courage to explore them and take them wherever they lead me.

Coming to Japan wasn't as hard as you think. I had the security of coming from a good job as a gym manager to a position here that was all laid out and prepped for me: all I needed to do was teach. Transitioning to Seattle will be more difficult as I plunge into the pool of uncertainty in search of opportunity. I hope I find an opportunity that allows me to 'work' from my soul and mind, that allows me to use my abilities in the service of others.

In the meantime, I have over half a year to enjoy Japan including a half-naked men's festival tomorrow. Stay tuned.